Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

The Importance of Confidence in Sports, Business, and Life

Sport Psychologist, Dr. John F. Murray on Confidence.
PALM BEACH, Fla., Dec. 8 PRNewswire — When sport performance psychologist John F. Murray decided to auction the idea of “Confidence” on eBay he had no idea how much interest this auction would draw. Top athletes and film stars use mental coaches, but he didn’t know whether the general public would pay for what might be called nothing more than an idea.

Bidding opened at $10 and after fifteen bids this idea sold for $250, representing perhaps the first time an “idea” has been sold in an auction. The winner is a recreational tennis player in New York. She will receive one hour of mental coaching by Dr. Murray.

“I had a hunch this would draw some attention since so many are beginning to recognize the value of confidence and mental training. The auction testified to broad-based interest,” said Dr. Murray, who has coached some of the top athletes in the world. “The public response justified my hunch.”

The auction was started to demonstrate public and professional interest in training the brain. “We’ve gone almost as far as we can go physically, but mental training is a territory with unlimited potential for improvement in business, sports, or life,” said Murray, who has spoken on this topic on numerous talk shows.

Many pro athletes, teams, businesses, and organizations receive the benefits of mental coaching, but most people are still often surprised to know that these services even exist as there are few legitimate performance psychologists or other professionals to provide these services.

Confidence is described as an umbrella term reflecting all the thoughts, feelings, actions and sensations reflecting self-belief and expectations of success. Top tennis professional Vincent Spadea spoke on national television about the benefits of mental coaching to reverse the longest losing streak in tennis history and return to top 20 in the world.

For more information about “mental training” and Dr. Murray go to http://www.JohnFMurray.com.

Contact:
John F. Murray, PhD
TEL: 561-596-9898
FAX: 561-805-8662

Dr. John. F. Murray is a Sport and Clinical Psychologist in Palm Beach, FL and helps athletes, and business people build their confidence.

Beijing Olympics: Sports Psychology profile of Adler Volmar

Sports psychologist Dr. John Murray is providing Journal Star readers daily updates from the Olympics. The former tennis pro and Florida resident is working with judo competitor Adler Volmar. The goal is to offer insight into the mental and psychological aspect of sports, right up to Volmar’s matches and immediately following them. The doctor will add some Beijing observations both inside and outside the sports venues. Murray’s full work and profile can be found on his own Web site: http://www.johnfmurray.com/

August 12, 2008 – Wednesday early Morning
Adler is nothing but energy! Yesterday was a big day as we finally met up with the man with a heart of gold who is going for the less significant piece of gold. He showed us all around the Olympic complex, the Team USA headquarters and living accommodations, and just about everything there was possibly to see in the Olympic Village.

The security, as you might imagine, is matchless. Once you finally do get in there are countless additional restrictions unless you have this number, decal or color on your badge.

What a great feeling as the weather cooperated following a rainstorm and the air looked actually clear and clean! Athletes were trading badges, walking from training session to another, playing silly video games, lounging, or meeting with media. If you can imagine a major university campus in the USA, with only
all the athletes out and about, and then multiply this by 150 — you get a glimpse of the awe.

I mean these are the best of the best, and the dreams of every country all in one spot.
Let’s talk a little more about Adler. He was born in Miami when his mother visited his sister, but he grew up in Haiti. When he was a teenager he was picked on by bullies and given a good beating. His mother insisted that he learn to defend himself, so at age 13 he started training for judo. By 15 he was a black belt and three years later, he was going to his first Olympics in Atlanta, where he carried the national flag.

After Atlanta, with very poor English, he was tricked into thinking that he had to join the US military and served in the Navy as a combat medic. He missed the 2000 Olympics largely due to his military service but tried again for the judo team in 2004 and missed, coming in third. Many would have given up but Adler persisted with the dream for the gold and he rose in the ranks and won several major international events leading up to the Beijing Olympic trials.

That is when he tore both his anterior cruciate ligament and lateral cruciate, and the Miami Dolphins team physician, Dr. Caldwell, surgically repaired his knee in February and told him he had between a 0 and 1 percent chance of even competing at the June Olympic trials. Adler heard “one percent” and he said “that was plenty enough for me!”

At the trials, he had to win in a sudden-death overtime and it was a highly controversial ending … but the fact is he won and he now represents the USA Team Judo in the 100kg class.

I’ve given you just a sketch of the facts. What you might not realize is that he is one of the most humble and caring persons I have ever met! Can you believe this … for a world class athlete. His mother died last year and she has been an inspiration. His wife has been tirelessly patient and supportive as he reaches for his goals. He had a great training staff in his recovery and then I had the honor of him calling for an appointment only a little over a month ago. We hit it off immediately and he kept telling me that he was taking me with him to Beijing. I kept denying it sarcastically. Well … he felt strongly enough about the mental game and our rapport that he inisted I go and got the plane ticket and hotel reservation.

Very few in the world media or judo land really believe in Adler. He is a definite sleeper from those in the supposed know. But when you meet him, you realize it is never about Adler; rather, he is on a mission to change lives. He has a great family with three kids and he wants to make their lives better.

He wants to get the first gold for judo in U.S. history. He even told me that he wants to help me with the sport
psychology. The man is sincere and he is funny, too. During our long walks around the village he often teased and joked, but the serious side came out too and there is no doubt in his mind that he will walk away with gold, but even that he ultimately gives up to a higher source — his belief and his faith.He never should have been here after that injury, but he is, and the world will have to deal with it.

There are 32 fighters in the draw at the 100kg class and his first opponent Thursday is from Bosnia. He says, “just five steps to change our lives forever,” meaning just win five matches and he will fulfill his mission, and his faith removes any anxiety.

As he said, “This is way beyond me … I’m here for the ride!” Thanks for all your support readers. Today we will go watch some live judo matches and I’ll do some more imagery and relaxation training with Adler. He is one of the best that I have ever seen mentally … yet he also realizes that he needs to be tip-top shape physically as well as mentally. So he takes our work together seriously … looking for ever-so-slight an edge.
I’m going to get some more sleep now.

Dr. John F. Murray attended the Beijing Olympics to provide his unique perspective from the world of Sports Psychology.

Beijing Olympics: Here we come

Sports psychologist Dr. John Murray is providing Journal Star readers daily updates from the Olympics. The former tennis pro and Florida resident is working with judo competitor Adler Volmar. The goal is to offer insight into the mental and psychological aspect of sports, right up to Volmar’s matches and immediately following them. The doctor will add some Beijing observations both inside and outside the sports venues. Murray’s full work and profile can be found on his own Web site: http://www.johnfmurray.com/

August 9, 2008 – Sunday – Detroit – 2:15 PM
If you are going to the Olympics, and especially as far away as Beijing, you better not miss the flight, so I stayed the night in a Ft. Lauderdale hotel not far from the airport and we just arrived in Detroit to catch the flight to Tokyo and then on to the big city.

I flew up with Crystal and we met her father, Earl, smartly attired in his red, white and blue sporting clothes, so the three of us can pursue with Adler (Volmar) the mission of (judo) gold. Over lunch we discussed again how all athletes need to believe totally in their abilities and in their chance of actually winning the gold. At the same time, the best athletes — Adler included — know that while they are giving their best and outworking and out-thinking their opponents in preparation for the big day, ultimately outcome is decided by a higher force, be it spiritual or the mere fact that as hard as you prepare there might be someone else on the other side of the mat who prepared longer, smarter, or better.

Still you pursue the dream with total confidence and willpower, with the best possible strategy, nutrition and physical training possible. Another topic that came up over lunch was the “Tiger Woods” element. This is the flow that was written about so long ago in the book “Flow” in the 1960s. There are a lot of cliches that cover the topic of focus and concentration, but so few athletes come even close to maximizing their use of flow.

Just look at the history of Olympic records and how records are broken every year, and how it is almost a steady progression of faster times and greater strength, so if you examine the Olympics 100 years from today the accomplishments of today will look very average. Mentally this highlights that we are never truly reaching our human potential in sports — but only approaching an unlimited human potential.

OK, enough philosophizing for now. I am seated amongst about an 80 percent population of Japanese citizens returning to their homeland as we all three get ready to board the massive 747 with upstairs seating and a food/drink lounge to Tokyo.

The upcoming 14 hours of flying would seem taxing if not for the fact that less than two years ago I flew down to Australia with Vince Spadea for the three tournaments at the start of the 2007 season — Adelaide, Sydeny and Melbourne and it was about a 26 hour trek! So, we are all excited to join Adler in Beijing as this two time Olympian gets ready for his day of destiny on August 14.

Dr. John F. Murray attended the Beijing Olympics to provide his unique perspective from the world of Sports Psychology.

Top 5 Ways to Deal with Financial Stress

John F. Murray, Ph.D.

John F. Murray, Ph.D.

In the last 13 years our country has seen plenty of ups and downs in the stock market including the devastating “.com bubble” at the beginning of the 21st century. Employment has sometimes been at rates that are comparable to that of the great depression, and there are numerous job positions and entire industries that are bordering on extinction because of technological advances.

Regardless of the number of zeroes that may be attached to your bottom line, it is likely that you and the people around you have all been put under some stress in this recent time period. This article names 5 of the best ways that you can cope with the psychological, economic, and family-related stresses that your finances bring into your life.

Seek Information and Greater Knowledge

While doing this may help to act as a distraction from your worries, this is not the only role that this plays in relieving stress from your life. Remember the old phrase “knowledge is power”? This is true in the practical sense and in that knowledge also helps to instill confidence in one’s self. Adding to your own confidence can be a stress reliever.

Here are two great articles on my website that I suggest reading that also deal with this general topic:

  1. Positives Hiding in Stock turmoil
  2. Stress: It’s Worse than You Think

Attend a Workshop or Seminar

There is a wide range of seminars and workshops being conducted out there that are intended to help relieve stress in your life (especially financial stress). I conduct some of these seminars myself with my clients and sometimes for the general public. Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss setting up a seminar for your corporation or group. I can be reached at (561) 596-9898.

Join a Social Group or Network

It’s not just you out there, and I can assure you that you are not the only one asking the question of how to relieve the financial stress in your life. Don’t just join any group (although there are benefits to joining just about any positively-oriented group). Join a group that has a good leader, moderator, or psychologist who is qualified to help you.

Visit a Museum or Look at Other Art

I love giving this suggestion to my clients because almost everyone has some type of art that they can appreciate. You may like collecting or viewing paintings. Some people enjoy watching musicians play. The type of art that you like is almost inconsequential to the conversation. A geology professor might simply enjoy driving through the mountains and viewing the different rock layers that are visible (think of that as God’s art).

My personal preference for art is in mechanical wrist watches. Some of the watches that I have collected in the past have been artistic time pieces in their own right because of the way that they were crafted, but they have also had some historical significance to the sports world. I once had a 1955 Bulova wristwatch, for example, that was inscribed to Pee Wee Reese (Brooklyn Dodgers) after his team beat the NY Yankees in the World Series.

The type of art that you collect or appreciate is up to you. The role that this plays in your life will likely be much the same.

Become an Even More Avid Sports Fan

Don’t just work hard all day and allow this to be the only activity in your life. Showing your sports face as a fan and showing some passion for your team can help to relieve some of the financial stress in your life.

I hope that these 5 tips are helpful to my readers who are feeling an increase in stress due to their finances. Seek information, attend a workshop, join a social group, look at art, and become a more avid sports fan. I’m sorry that I haven’t told you how to decrease your stock market risk while maintaining a portfolio that was capable of earning 30% each year, but I hope that these tips will at least make life a little bit more pleasant while you are searching for someone who can do that for you.

If this is your first time visiting my website, please stop by the homepage for information about sports psychology. There are also sections that are dedicated to tennis psychology, golf psychology, and great sports psychology quotes.

 

Health and Wellness

Dr. John F. Murray’s work with private clients and groups also extends to areas of health, fitness, wellness and lifestyle. His specialization in the health psychology track at the University of Florida Department of Clinical and Health Psychology, and first masters degree earned within the Department of Health and Human Performance, provided the training for this focus.

Individuals and groups benefit by learning to eat healthier, exercise smarter, manage stress better, and improve lifestyle habits. Dr. Murray has conducted many seminars and workshops on stress management and conflict resolution, and the mental principles he uses with athletes and businesses apply equally to overall health and life satisfaction.

Dr. Murray has also contributed to many health and fitness publications such as Prevention, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Fitness, AmericasDoctor.com, Conditioning and Training Magazine, Physical Magazine, and RemedyRX.

Thank You for Visiting. Call 561-596-9898 or send an email to johnfmurray@mindspring.com

London Smart Tennis Sports Psychology Workshops Coming June 17 & 18

UPCOMING: DR JOHN F MURRAY’S 9TH ANNUAL SMART TENNIS SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY WORKSHOPS IN LONDON, ENGLAND. CHOOSE TO ATTEND EITHER JUNE 17 OR 18 FOR A FULL DAY OF ON-COURT AND OFF-COURT LEARNING AND FUN. SEE DETAILS BY CLICKING THIS LINK.

Please call Dr. John F Murray at 561-596-9898 to reserve your place. I hope you can attend this exciting event from the world of sports psychology.

If You Want Your Honey, Fire Your Lawyer

Special to JohnFMurray.com – By John F. Murray, Ph.D. – August, 2010 – Warning: This article is rated R for “relationshipâ€? – Relationships and marriage are always hot topics, but this area has been covered infrequently at JohnFMurray.com and is long overdue. Let’s apply a high performance model to something very important that we all deal with one way or another. In fact, the first time I appeared on the NFL Network and ESPN television from my office it was to discuss issues of love and hate in sports rather than my more traditional topics of mental preparation and performance in athletics, or more general psychological health. They wanted to know about love and hate, and here I go again in this article.

Recent relationship articles I’ve contributed to include one in the New York Post on the New York Yankees A-Rod of baseball and actress Kate Hudson
one on love among sports stars in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, and a Times of India story about Tiger Woods’ extramarital relationship revelations. I’ve also been on local television (CBS 12 with Ben Becker) several times recently talking about Tiger Woods and relationships. I’m a strong proponent of social support for success in my articles, and my PhD dissertation at the University of Florida revealed social support as the big winner in helping injured players recover on the 1996 national champion Florida Gators football team. Relationships are a huge issue in life and sports, so come into my office and let’s talk a little about it.

Nothing stirs the emotions like issues of love, passion, and romance, or their counterparts of conflict, arguments and divorce. They say that love makes the world go round and it’s so true. The hottest, steamiest, most controversial, and most intriguing topics in the media and Hollywood usually deal with issues of marriage, love, romance, sex and jealousy. Although divorce rates in America have declined some recently, statistics still show that roughly half of marriages end in divorce. As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced.

How do people fall in love psychologically and why if it is so good would they do anything to disturb that marvelous state of being and destroy relationships just as often as they are created? It makes no sense, so I turned to the scientific literature as we often should when there are serious questions or we would like to understand something better.

Passion and emotion have long been known to be quite different from clear thinking and logic. Neuropsychology has identified areas in the temporal cortex as more responsible for regulating and controlling emotions whereas the frontal lobe is responsible for more rational and logical processing or cold thinking. In working with clients, I will often show them how their behavior is represented in the central and peripheral nervous system and this comes from my years of training and understanding of neuropsychology, but we are always learning new things from science all the time so it’s very important to stay current with findings.

Recent studies (reported thanks to Steve Connor, Science Editor of The London Independent, 2008) have discovered the biological basis for the two most intense emotions of love and hate. Neural circuits in the brain responsible for hate are often the same as those that are used during the feelings of romance, even though love and hate appear to be polar opposites. Looking at the areas of the brain that are active when people look at a photograph of someone they say they hate has found that the “hate circuit” shares something in common with the love circuit. These findings could explain why both hate and romantic love can result in similar acts of extreme behavior – both heroic and evil.

Like love, hate is often seemingly irrational and can lead individuals to both heroic and evil deeds. How can two opposite states of mind lead to similar behavior?” The study involved subjects who professed a deep hatred for one individual. Most chose an ex-lover or a competitor at work. The researchers in the study Professor Zeki and Romaya analysed the activity of the neural circuits in the brain that lit up when the volunteers were viewing photos of the hated person and found that the hate circuit includes parts of the brain called the putamen and the insula, found in the sub-cortex of the organ. The putamen is already known to be involved in the perception of contempt and disgust and may also be part of the motor system involved in movement and action. “Significantly, the putamen and the insula are also both activated by romantic love. This is not surprising. The putamen could also be involved in the preparation of aggressive acts in a romantic context, as in situations when a rival presents a danger,” Professor Zeki said.

A major difference between love and hate appears to be in the fact that large parts of the cerebral cortex – associated with judgment and reasoning – become de-activated during love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate. “This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgmental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge,” Professor Zeki said.

This amazing research is just beginning to offer clues to some of our most complex behavior, but I am not at all surprised about it when you consider the course of a normal romantic relationship. We know that in the early months and years during the infatuation phase, individuals are goo goo and ga ga about their partner, very much “in love,â€? less critical, and more happy overall. They hold hands all the time, use terms of endearment frequently, and see the glass as always half full rather than half empty. In short, they are in the right place mentally and behaviorally to provide to the other person what they need to feel because they are not overly critical and see the goodness in that person, and express it fully.

As the relationship progresses to a more rational state after the infatuation has worn off (anywhere between 6 months and two years usually) I’ve seen in my work that couples who were once non-judgmental and extremely supportive emotionally can soon become their partner’s worst nightmare with constant criticism, judgment, polarized thinking and henpecking. One big key to relationship success then would be to try to get back to doing the things you did for each other when the relationship was new, when love was less rational and when the mere fact of having one another trumped most any obstacle.

Certainly things change, but as they change some basic expressions of love and caring and support I believe need to remain and be constantly replenished in a creative way. Otherwise, one or both partners will soon feel cheated without having access to the same ingredients that made it work for the person before, and left thinking that things got worse and that there must be greener grass elsewhere. It’s as if your favorite restaurant suddenly fired the chef and hired someone who used totally disgusting and less tasty ingredients in preparing the meal. How long would you want to keep going there when you could do better at a Subway or McDonalds?

It would be far better if the couple found a way to increase their expressions of affection over time even if it is hard work, or sometimes seems impossible. In the absence of this success, memories of past bliss take over and the person feels constantly that he or she is no longer receiving what they did before and what they are getting currently compared with those earlier times.

Some relationships in the infatuation phase of nonjudgmental love begin with marriage and end in divorce when feelings wear off and both fall back to earth and begin dwelling on qualities of the other person they despise. Even qualities once seen as cute or unique are now viewed with disgust or disdain. Making sense? The more rational brain is at it again!

Still other couples survive the initial reduction of infatuation phase, go on to marriage or at least long-term love, and last a lifetime if both partners are able to keep it more positive than negative and find a way to overcome conflict and differences. I would estimate that almost as many of these more mature relationships also end in break-ups or divorce if the parties are unable to communicate effectively or find a way to give the other person what they need emotionally.

Communication is usually cited as the number one reason why couples split or stay together, so its qualities need to be constantly understood, learned and practiced. The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to stop talking or expressing, or to only say what you think the other person wants to hear as if you are a robot. The key, I believe, is for each partner to be allowed to express himself or herself and also be heard authentically by the partner whether that person agrees or not. Why should you both always agree? You are different people, but be careful about anything that might destroy the basic elements of love that you felt in the infatuation phase! One way to do this is to preface your comments of difference with little terms of endearment (e.g., “I love you honey and I don’t think you mean it, but I felt completely unheard and disrespected when you ignored me in front of your family for three hours last nightâ€?).

Another key is that each partner not try to control or micromanage the other’s behavior or activities, but allow them to develop and grow in their own individual and unique way as long as they aren’t stealing candy from children, setting up dog fights, selling drugs on the street corner, or stealing credit cards (other crimes are fine .. just kidding!). I’m sure you can think of some other deal breakers, but if the person is a responsible citizen and developing as they need to develop their individuality should be allowed to shine rather than be snuffed out or repressed because of what the other person thinks you should do, think or feel.

Love should not be made conditional or contingent on doing what the other person wants. In conditional love, what one person wants may not be what the other one wants. Why should it? We are all different. We are all responsible for our own actions and our own feelings and we all have a different developmental path and calling in life, but once we cross the line into telling our partner what they should be doing, feeling or thinking, I believe we have gone too far because we will always create conflict that way, or if not conflict a repressed and unhappy partner and if your partner is not happy nobody will be.

Ideally, the couple needs to find a place where they can be allowed to grow as the individuals they are, and also as a couple without one person trying to control the other. If despite all that the couple can still not resolve their differences, then there is nothing wrong with divorce or breaking up. It may be the best solution by far in many cases. But I feel that many couples trip up on the more basic issues before they even get to this stage, and one of the big ones I have seen over the years is making love conditional.

Love was not conditional when you started and when you entered that infatuation phase. Why should it change? You loved the person for who they were before, or at least you made the person feel that way. Why should you then change and withhold love unless the person changes? It seems absurd and it is. Give love freely or forget it. If you only give love when a person does something for you or what you want them to do, that is not really love anymore but an earned service. Accept your partner for who they are and try very hard to understand why they are who they are even if you do not agree with their behavior. Why would you agree? You are different. But unless you are able to find a place where your partner feels the same love of earlier infatuation, it is simply not going to work.

When conflict does arise, as it always does, what should the couple do? One solution often chosen is to visit a top family law attorney, find out what your rights are, and start talking about divorce because of how your rights have been violated. It’s like introducing your new puppy to the fox den and then asking the foxes for advice about the care and nurturing of your puppy. The foxes will probably ask you to leave your puppy with them overnight. Ok, I know you are laughing and so am I, and I do not hate lawyers, but I had to have fun with that.

Lawyers are certainly needed if your rights have been abused and you want out of the marriage, but keep in mind that lawyers are usually smart paid fighters and modern day warriors, and their job is to help you win as much as you can in an adversarial legal system that is not designed to resolve conflict harmoniously or expediently and it is certainly not designed to save marriages. I had one year of law school in my youth and I hated it so I eventually became a psychologist and sports psychologist. The first day of law school, the professor told us that we were embarking on a profession not unlike the knights of the past. Lawyers are the modern day equivalents of F-14s and ballistic artillery. These tools all work great if you are ready for war and want to win by force. Like all professionals lawyers also earn a living by providing a service at an hourly rate. More hours equals more money for them.

There is nothing wrong with lawyers if you have already reached the point that you want out and you have no interest in trying to save the relationship, but keep in mind that they make much more when you get divorced, not when you stay together. My advice to all those couples out there who are struggling is to first see if you can work it out in counseling. A good clinical psychologist or marriage therapist may also want to work with you for a while in order to have an impact, and they earn good money too. But they earn their living when they develop a reputation for helping people improve relationships, communicate more effectively, and save marriage if possible rather than telling you how to divorce and terminate all those terms of endearment.

The bottom line is that if you want your honey back the way he or she was in the early infatuation phase of your relationship, it all starts by giving out those vibes yourself and by offering positive comments and love rather than the opposite behavior that we now know is housed in the same brain areas and is even more potentially dangerous to the relationship. With the addition of clear rational thinking associated with neurological hate, you are even more informed about the risks of not trying to go back to earlier bliss or at least trying to recreate some reasonable facsimile of it in your current relationship rather than giving in to your more hateful and rational brain! Now do you know why you needed me to write this article and why you also needed to read it?

If you want to save your relationship which started with a bang, then get in your time machines and go back mentally to that bang and replicate almost everything about it in your daily behavior. William James often said that if you behave a certain way you will start to feel that way. If you act loving again, you will soon start to feel love, and if your partner does this too you will feel double love! It is not always easy to do, but what is the alternative?

Be careful about engaging the legal system or legal advice too soon. Especially in this difficult economy there are going to be lawyers out there like those foxes coaching you to leave your precious puppy in the fox den at night. Then imagine your new puppy trying to get some sleep as the foxes sneak up on him for their supper.

Again I am poking fun at attorneys and do not want you to get the wrong impression. Many of my best friends and clients are attorneys and many are great individuals and there are good and bad people in all walks of life, but these attorneys have long told me that their job is to protect you and fight for your rights rather than fight to save your marriage. They are of ten needed to do just that – to fight to end your marriage if you want that.

As long as there is still hope to make it work as a couple, choose counseling first, keep trying to get back to the earlier state of bliss, engage in those earlier more romantic behaviors again (hand holding, terms of endearment, saying “I love youâ€?), and by all means take your precious puppy to a proper dog kennel or friend’s home and avoid the foxes den.

Good luck and I hope you enjoyed this little article from the world of sports psychology!

Friend Finder Puts People Back in Touch

Special Report – Palm Beach, Florida – Several years ago Dr. John F. Murray, clinical and sports psychologist in Palm Beach, Florida, began offering a free service using the power of the web to find lost acquaintances and friends. “It worked brilliantly” said Dr. Murray, and “I even used the service to locate a few old friends from childhood that I had not seen in over 35 years!” Whether you attended the same academy or school, or knew that person in the neighborhood in the 1950s, it really worked!

The success of the web to put people in touch off anyone’s site really (it is more effective if the site is popular and gets lots of hits like here at johnfmurray.com) is based on the relatively common phenomenon knowing as “ego surfing” in which internet users type their own name into a search box such as google or yahoo to see where they appear online. “Since I am contributing almost daily to the international, national and local media on topics related to sports psychology training and mental health, my name pops up all the time in articles and blogs that I was not even aware of,” claims Dr. Murray. Murray has been dubbed the “football freud” by the Washington Post and the “Roger Federer of sports psychology” by Tennis Week Magazine.

As a service to visitors to his site, Dr. Murray accepts emails from people all the time and then posts their names on his site to that others engaging in ego surfing will find their names on the site and contact Dr. Murray to be put back in touch with the lost friend. “I do it because it is fun and it is a way to get people to visit my site and see all the exciting things going on,” asserts Murray.

Here are the latest list of requests from people looking for long lost friends: (1) Michael Butler from Sacramento, California writes to say that he is seeking to re-connect with New York City native and schoolboy friend known as John Artusi. (2) Stephen Reynolds of Charlotte, NC is looking for an old girlfriend from high school in the suburbss of Chicago named Lisa Giordano. (3) Frank Morris of Gainesville, FL is looking for James Smith who used to live in Stoughton, MA many years ago. (4) Judy Lambert who lived in Boca Raton, FL many years ago is looking for her old neighborhood friend who she thinks moved to Plymouth, MA in the late 1960s but they went separate ways. (5) Monty Smith of Phoenix, AZ would like to re-connect with his teenage sweetheart who lived in Tuscon and her maiden name was Cynthia Murray (no relation to Dr. John Murray). (6) Attorney Stephen Miller lived over on the west coast of Florida many years ago (early 1970s) and lost contact with a golfing buddy, Frank Washington of Pinellas Park, FL and wonders whatever happened to him. (7) Ex North Palm Beach, FL resident William Smith (now living in Dallas) recalls dating a girl in high school from in Jupiter and Juno Beach, FL in the 1980s named Virginia Jones and they used to go boating frequently off Juno Beach.

I hope you use this service and sincerely believe that time travel to an interesting and distant past can promote a bright future when old connections are made! Just contact Dr. John F Murray by email and he will post your name and who you are searching for in the next update (johnfmurray@mindspring.com). Hope you enjoyed this benefit of the website dedicated to sports psychology.

Sports Psychologist Dr. John F Murray Appearing on Tennis Channel Next Two Weeks

DR JOHN IS ON THE TENNIS CHANNEL OVER THE NEXT TWO WEEKS (PREVIOUSLY RECORDED): Dr. John F. Murray to appear on the Tennis Channel in episodes 3 and 4 of “Fit to Hit” with host Danielle Dotzenrod. Episode 3 starts July 26.

FROM THE TENNIS CHANNEL ABOUT DR. JOHN F MURRAY
—>BEFORE EPISODE 3 OF “FIT TO HIT” (begins July 26, 2010) – Sports Psychologist, John F. Murray will show us why setting goals can do wonders for our game.
—>BEFORE EPISODE 4 OF “FIT TO HIT” (begins August 2, 2010) – If you’ve ever found yourself on a losing streak, you’ll want to watch…we will talk to the sports psychologist, John F Murray, that helped Vincent Spadea come back from the longest losing streak in history!

My Pseudo-Trainer and Client Wins Summa Cum Laude

Special to JohnFMurray.com – July 22, 2010 – Many of you follow my daily activities on Twitter, Facebook or this website. In a few of my past posts I alluded to one of my clients who I started counseling while walking in my unique brand of walk therapy written about in the National Post of Canada and the Wall Street Journal. Why be normal when you can be super-normal is my motto!

This client was fun to tweet about because he was somewhat odd in his sessions which started with walking and progressed to intense walking sessions. I soon realized that this client had no interest in wearing running shoes and instead opted to wear flip flops or sandals even when running long distances as many as 30 miles! Our sports psychology sessions would transpire in the car driving to our runs or on the walks before the runs, and we would then run long distances alone and meet up at a later time, at times running the University of Miami campus, the Palm Beach lake and ocean trails, or more lately from the west part of Las Olas Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale to AIA and then north to Oakland Park or Commercial Blvd. and back.

In short, we combined our sessions with healthy exercise but despite my many warnings to him he insisted in running in sandals. He soon outclassed even the fastest runners on AIA and one day even went 30 plus miles in sandals. He tried a pair of vibram running shoes that look like gloves, but they soon broke and he returned to wearing sandals.

This client was a married student with two children and attending a local university. On campus he dressed in casual clothing and got into his share of trouble with administration. He bucked the trend, spoke his mind, and at times complained to the university administration for unfair policies and restrictions of student freedom. We’ll spare the details, but let’s just say that he was more inclined to tell the truth than play the game and stay out of trouble. He despised red tape, university politics and outdated policies, and unfair treatment of students send him into a frenzy. His controversial nature got him in trouble more than once and the administration even tried to throw him out a couple times in ridiculous hearings that he always defended himself well at, leaving the administration looking confused and disoriented, but he always walked away from these conjured up hearings because there was nothing to them.

He didn’t talk much about his grades, so I assumed he was a B student or maybe B+ since he had a family to take care of, engaged in these marathon runs, and just didn’t fit the image of a pencil case carrying geek with academic perfectionism. I was wrong. He didn’t look like a geek, but he apparently is. My pseudo-trainer recently attended his graduation ceremonies and learned after completing his degree not in 4, but in 1.5 years, and was named the overall best student in the school with a GPA over 3.9 that earned him the top honors of Summa Cum Laude. To add insult to injury for the mean spirited adminsitration, last week he also get accepted into medical school program that awards a combined MD and PhD.

After medical school and residency, this pseudo-trainer wants to do nothing less than cure cancer, and he says he already knows exactly which part of the human genome he is going after once he sets up his lab and begins his practice. Is a Nobel Prize in the future for him. Probably not. It is probably not a big enough challenge for him.

I’ll keep pseudo-trainer annonnymous because he is still a client, and he also has a lot of schooling left and probably not the convenience of a sports psychologist bragging about him. Knowing his blunt and somewhat controversial nature he’ll probably rub someone wrong somewhere in the future and I would prefer that nobody with ill intent gain the benefit of reading this. Like art for art’s purpose alone, this article is an applause for the human spirit exemplified in pseudo-trainer. It is a celebration of our need to remain unique and think big throughts. All is within grasp with the proper mental attitude. I teach that daily to my clients and the flip flop running pseudo trainer has been a great student indeed. He has also been a great running coach for me and I am still learning. Let’s clap now for running dude in sandals who beat a corrupt university administration at their own game by being the school’s overall best student, for getting into a very fine MD/PhD program, and for his future Nobel Prize :-) Everyone can take a lesson from him to stand up for what is right rather than go along with corruption and politics, and to shine both academically and in sports.

I hope you all enjoyed this little glimpse into the world of sports psychology and the kind of clients that come my way. Go get em in med school now! This was an article about the human spirit and the benefits of sports psychology.