Men’s Health – Jun 1, 2006 – Paul Kita
NATURAL HABITAT – Often found overplaying his man on the pickup court or maniacally squeezing an Xbox controller in front of a TV. Spotted frequently at bars, where he turns wing nights and happy hours into gluttonous showdowns. In parks, arm-wrestles senior citizens. Bodychecks during neighborhood street-hockey games.
IDENTIFYING MARKS – Overdresses for sporting events–wristbands and Under Armour for the Golden Tee video golf tourney–and carries his own darts, pool cue, and Ping-Pong paddle. Talks trash, quotes Rudy. Gloats when he wins, whines when he loses, and questions your cojones when you refuse tobutt heads. “He’s the guy who’s still doing all the stupid stuff youused to do when you were 10,” says Sandra Crowe, author of Since Strangling Isn’t an Option. Anyone for a round of bloody knuckles?
WHEN ONE ATTACKS – If he’s dragging down your team, make him feel he’s part of one. Commend him publicly for a basketball assist or for backing up a play in softball, rather than for scoring or slugging. “He might just want acceptance,” says John F. Murray, Ph.D., a sports-performance psychologist in Palm Beach, Florida. Make sure the warrior’s invited for beers afterward.
IF HE’S STILL ACTING LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD – … treat him like one. “It takes two egos to cause a conflict,”says Rick Brinkman, N.D., author of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. Make fun of his behavior–“Yo, Rodman, this is basketball, not ultimate fighting”–or tell him that if he chucks your Xbox controller, he’s buying a new one. If he wants to go wing for wing, wax nostalgic: “I remember doing that when I was a freshman.” He’ll grow up, or at least shut up.
“You. Me. Staring contest. Now.”
Sleeveless tee confers arm-wrestling advantage
Brings his own cue . . . To dinner
Once punched his grandmother over pinochle
Left on during sex
Dr. John F. Murray is a sports psychologist and clinical psychologist providing sports psychology and counseling services based in Palm Beach, Florida.